04 May 2002: Well, it's taking a little longer than expected to get my new DSL line, but it's in the works. The site should be back in 2 or 3 weeks, along with a much-needed facelift. Also, the site has moved to bobanddoug.com; bobanddougmckenzie.com will still point here for a while, but you should update your bookmarks now, eh.
26 Mar 2002: The site will be unavailable starting around 27 March for about a month as I upgrade my DSL service. The upside is that my new service should make the site about 3 times faster. See you on the flip side...
[Full Tracks from The Great White North]
[Full Tracks from The Strange Brew
Soundtrack]
[Guest DJ Full Tracks]
[Great White North Sounds] [Strange
Brew Sounds]
Bob & Doug's secret message and the secret message revealed! (186K MP3)
"Can I get ya a beer, a back bacon?"
(50K)
"Black hole." (18K)
"My topic today is, Don't
Kill Bugs." (84K)
"I am Elron McKenzie,
and welcome to my church." (81K)
"'68 Ford Fairlane
two door, blue, with a black vinyl top, three-speed on the tree, and an
FM radio in it." (181K)
Bob: "Good day,
I'm Bob McKenzie, this is my brother Doug."
"Here we are, at Peter's
Donuts." (79K)
"Take off, eh." (Doug
as Darth Vader). (24K)
The infamous call.
(109K)
"You are our guest."(37K)
Bob: "He told us that he could pay us ten
bucks -"
"These donut places - the guy's got ten
tables and three spots!" (109K)
Doug: "You have to hold the beer like right
to your head, on an angle, so, like, even if it
isn't the one you're still gonna get wet."
Bob: "Okay, take a sixpack of cans (like normally
we drink bottles eh, but for this game you gotta use cans), so take a six
of your favorites, right - it's like Russian roulette, it's called The
Beer Hunter. (221K)
Doug: "Okay, one pineapple-filled donut, and
a six pack of cruellers."
Geddy Lee: "So like, take
off, to the Great White North. Take off, it's a beauty way to
go. TAKE OFF, you hosers!" (299K)
Bob: "Give the cops donuts
and they won't give us tickets. Hey, cops, want donuts?
Doug: "Oh boy, we got
hosed. We could have done that ourselves eh."
Doug: "This is how he hoses
me every time."
Doug: "Look at me,
now. No, just look at me. Don't look at him."
Bob: "If hosehead there had his choice he wouldn't
be in your ear he'd be in your nose, doin' some mining of, uh, mineral
resources."
Doug: (Blows on bottle) "That is the miracle
of music from a beer bottle."
Doug: "Like how many
beers would that be, if you want like, a sixpack in metric?"
Doug (during hit single): "Okay everyone.
This record was my idea. Hosehead just
sort of rid on my coattail."
Doug: "Good day, I'm right in your ear.
Oh, nice ear buddy. Why don't you ever
clean this thing?" (150K)
Doug: "I'm havin' a good time here 'cause like,
no
one can see us eh. So like, you don't even know if we're nude,
eh."
"It's the old 40 degrees.
So when they say, '5 degrees,' 40!" (67K)
Bob: "Hoser's gonna open six
beers, or however many it takes..."
Bob: "Hey, over here! I'm gonna get us
booted out. Hey over here for DONUTS!"
Bob: "Uh, I hope ya don't mind but, there's
a photographer that's gonna be takin' pictures
of us together to prove that you were here."
Doug's spirited retelling of Bob's coffee
sandwich. (618K)
Bob: "That's our roadie
'cause like now that we have an album we have a roadie, and we're gettin'
an equipment van, and like, there will be 12 tractor trailer loads full
of equipment bringing our Coleman, and our openers are beers and 50 million
pounds of backbacon."
Doug: "Take off!"
(11K)
Doug: "Okay, everyone ready? Will you
sing with me, standing in unison. (Does the
call).
Bob: "So another thing is like, if you're listening
to the album and like ya got it turned up real loud
like Zeppelin, right, and somebody says, 'Turn it down!,' right, don't
worry 'cause like we can talk quieter." (325K)
Doug: "No, everyone, okay, everyone go out except
the people in the third seat of every row -
you all have a detention.
Doug: "How's it goin', eh?" (92K)
Doug: "- EACH. So we're not morons."
(131K)
Bob: "I'm hopin' this is it." (opens can).
Ah.
Doug: "Okay it isn't."
Bob: "Okay, that one didn't explode so you
have to drink it."
Doug: "The punishment is not too bad, I think
I can take it eh."
Bob: "You get thirsty playin' this game." (455K)
Bob: "A six?!"
Doug: "Yeah, for me eh, I didn't have any dinner."
Bob: "And you're not gonna have any breakfast
either." (222K)
Doug: "You pay for the donuts, I'll go talk
to the cops." (156K)
Bob: "No."
Doug: "Why not?"
Bob: "I don't know how."
Doug: "That's a good point." (249K)
Bob: "No, don't that that one. That could
be the one. No, don't take that one. That - okay, take that
one."
Doug: "You're tomentin' me now. I'm takin'
the one I took first. (Doug gets a beer shower) Aaagh!"
Bob: "I win. I win every time.
Wethead. Towel off. Get out. Oh, you're blowin' the floor.
Way to go.
Doug: "You hoser."
Bob: "Beer shampoo." (540K)
Bob: "Oh, get out."
Doug: "Zoom in on me. How ya doin', it's
me, Doug. Good day everyone. Okay, zoom out. Now look
at hosehead." (252K)
Doug: "Booger nuggets." (168K)
Bob: "You could do the, our theme with beer
bottles of different..."
Doug: "I need more bottles."
Bob: "Well why don't we pick the needle up
and finish off some beer bottles, then come back and maybe we'll have our
theme." (468K)
Bob: "Six, six is 12, 30 is 42 beers.
42 metric beers."
Doug: "That's good for me eh. Count me
in on metric." (334K)
Bob: "Why are you doin' this? It was
our idea together, eh."
Doug: "Okay. We agreed to say that, but..."
Bob: "Aw, take off!" (355K)
Bob: "Get out! They do too."
Doug: "They don't eh. Me and my brother
here are nude. So like, imagine us - okay, look at the album now,
eh. Okay, now look. Imagine - there he is - there's hosehead,
with no clothes on. He's really built eh."
Bob: "Get out!" (536K)
Doug: "No - I'm gonna open one, eh. And
then you're gonna open one. So like, if I don't get a wethead you
will." (259K)
Doug: "Don't listen to him, eh. He's
a, he's a hoser!" (207K)
Doug: "In case people don't believe us."
Geddy Lee: "How come he's not wearin' a toque?"
Doug: "Oh he's not from the Great White North."
(285K)
Doug: "Oh yeah! 50 million?! Take
off!"
Bob: "Okay, 5 million." (509K)
Bob: "Okay, be seated." (289K)
Bob: "Why, what'd they do?"
Doug: "They, I have to talk to them all in
my office. So come to the vice principal's office and we'll have
a beer and talk. You've been bad."
Bob: "You can't do that. You have to
have a reason."
Doug: "I don't if I'm vice principal, eh.
My vice principal never had any reasons, so I don't need any."
Bob: "What? Really?" (582K)
| Track | Title | Length | Size |
| 1 | This is our album, eh? | 3:40 | 3.2MB |
| 2 | The Beerhunter | 2:23 | 2.3MB |
| 3 | School Announcements | 1:52 | 1.4MB |
| 4 | The Miracle of Music | 0:41 | 681KB |
| 5 | Peter's Donuts | 3:02 | 2.7MB |
| 6 | Gimme A Smoke | 1:59 | 1.8MB |
| 7 | Take Off | 4:43 | 4.1MB |
| 8 | Coffee Sandwich | 2:26 | 2.2MB |
| 9 | Welcome to Side Two | 0:58 | 919KB |
| 10 | Doug's Mouth | 3:33 | 3.2MB |
| 11 | Elron McKenzie | 2:28 | 2.2MB |
| 12 | Black Holes | 2:06 | 2.0MB |
| 13 | You Are Our Guest | 2:14 | 2.0MB |
| 14 | Ernie's Mom | 1:54 | 1.8MB |
| 15 | Twelve Days of Christmas | 4:42 | 4.5MB |
| 16 | Ralph The Dog | 3:11 | 3.0MB |
| 17 | Okay, This is the End, eh? | 1:57 | 1.9MB |
| 18 | Honest | 0:31 | 516KB |
"If you'd stick to your 12-point maintenance program we wouldn't have to jump start you like this..." (105K)
"I was kinda like a one-man force eh, like Charlton Heston in Omega Man, did ya see it, it was beauty." (54K)
"...We got two kegs!" (160K)
"My brother and I used to say that drownin' in beer was like heaven eh, now he's not here an' I got two soakers, this isn't heaven this sucks!" (123K)
"This movie was shot in 3-B, 3 beers an' it looks good eh..." (69K)
"Okay, all cops get out of your cars..." (215K)
"All hosers in Russia and Hawaii and England, welcome to our movie eh..." (51K)
"Like he once got our dead battery goin' by mixing bird feces and spit 'cause there's like acid in it, eh. So, do you travel quite a bit?" (94K)
Doug: "Beauty!" (4K)
Bob: "It's a beauty!" (6K)
"Woooooooo, beer shower!" (32K)
"Those big cons are gonna love you, eh..." (117K)
Claude Elsinore: "You can't miss it, it's right at the bottom of the big hill." (88K)
"Last one inside is a big idiot." (38K)
"...He's the one with the bleedin' nose I didn't do nothin'." (58K)
"Okay, okay, you boss me around." (30K)
Doug: "Dad, Bob broke
your beer!"
Bob: "No I didn't, Doug broke it!" (35K)
"Chimp here does the killin'. I don't like to kill..." (152K)
"This piano's got a computer in it eh! I don't know how to work it though, eh..." (109K)
Cool tune Bob plays on the synthesizer. (101K)
"That was no goal y'know, that was in the crease!" (31K)
"Fresh as a daisy!" (9K)
Bob: "Fleshy-headed mutant, are you friendly?"
Doug: "No way, eh! Radiation has made me an
enemy
of civilization!" (77K)
"We found this mouse in a bottle of Elsinore beer we bought at your beer store eh, and we heard like, when that happens, you get your beer free..." (167K)
"He's got a funny look in his eye, eh." (47K)
Bob: "This is spooky, eh."
Doug: "It's like a ghost
town isn't it..." (87K)
"Somebody horked our clothes!..." (117K)
"You hurry you hoser!" (14K)
"...He saw Jedi seventeen times, eh." (61K)
"Jelly donut comin'!" (10K)
"Good thing I'm still wearin' that jock eh." (19K)
"Jeez you're real nice. If I didn't have puke breath, I'd kiss you." (52K)
"You know who that is? That's John LaRose, Montreal Canadian Rookie of the Year two years ago..." (112K)
"We told 'em we didn't want a lawyer. Chimp here'd probably just kill him anyway. Lawyers are for sucks." (77K)
"Awww, my left nut!" (22K)
"You got to Level 6 I only got to Level 5, beauty playin'." (33K)
Bob: "You see her lookin'
at me?"
Doug: "Yeah, 'cause she thought you were some
kinda freak! Now come on!"
Bob: "Take off, she likes me, eh!" (61K)
"There wasn't much to do -- all the bowling alleys had been wrecked. So's I spent most of my time lookin' for beer." (81K)
"Jeez there's a lotta arrows, eh -- Elsinore Castle, Elsinore Brewery, Royal Canadian Institute for the Mentally Insane. Hey, that's loony bin eh!..." (239K)
Judge: "Until the victim is mentally fit for trial, I want these two lunatics confined, under the psychiatric care of Dr. Smith, and to the Royal Canadian Institute for the Mentally Insane." (226K)
Claude Elsinore: "Just because I don't know what it is, doesn't mean I'm lying." (30K)
"He's dead! You killed him! Police, police, my brother's a murderer! He's not dead, look, his stomach's movin'." (103K)
"Okay, ya know his replacement eh, like the new boss? We made the appointment with him, eh. What's his name again?" (71K)
"Ohh, not there! Oh, that feels good." (37K)
"Jeez he's startin' to sound like the old man -- pretty soon he'll be sendin' me out for beers." (37K)
Bob: "Remind me to pay
his bill on time, eh."
Doug: "Chuck Norris for the defense, eh." (45K)
Bob: "See ya, eh."
Doug: "Yeah, good day eh." (57K)
Bob and Doug administering electro-shock therapy on each other. (53K)
Bob and Doug in a big spitting fight. (60K)
Lawyer: "Objection, you cannot split
pleas like that."
Bob: "Two bowls of split pleas soup to go,
eh..." (96K)
Doug doing the steam roller on Bob!" (178K)
Bob: "Take off
will ya we're doin' our movie!"
Doug: "Don't wreck our show, you hoser!" (36K)
Doug: "Take off you hoser!" (15K)
Doug: "Take off eh!" (12K)
"SCREEEECH!"
Bob: "Aw! What're you doin'?"
Doug: "Uh, just testin'
the brakes eh, they felt a little soft." (81K)
"That's her..." (Bob and Doug in a police lineup). (73K)
Parking attendant: "Hey you! Let me see
your ticket! $6.50!"
Rosie LaRose: "All I got's two
fives!" (68K)
Bob: "Aw! You farted!"
Doug: "No, it wasn't me eh, it was the chair..."
(141K)
"What are you on, valium?" (12K)
Pamela: "I think it's getting warmer
in here."
Bob: "I didn't notice anything." (59K)
"I'm gettin' whiplash from my burps, eh." (28K)
| Track | Title | Length | Size |
| 1 | This isn't Our Second Album | 4:01 | 3.9MB |
| 2 | Welcome to Our Movie / Mutants | 3:15 | 2.9MB |
| 3 | Mutants of 2051 II | 3:22 | 3.4MB |
| 4 | I Didn't Do it, You Knob | 1:54 | 2.0MB |
| 5 | Mouse in a Bottle (Film Dialogue) | 5:33 | 5.7MB |
| 6 | Strange Brew | 3:37 | 3.9MB |
| 7 | Behind the Scenes | 0:58 | 1.0MB |
| 8 | Shakespeare Horked Our Script | 1:53 | 1.8MB |
| 9 | The Game (Film Dialogue) | 2:44 | 2.7MB |
| 10 | I Did it, You Knob | 1:57 | 1.9MB |
| 11 | The Chase (Film Dialogue) | 3:50 | 3.4MB |
| 12 | I Did it Again, You Knob | 1:26 | 1.4MB |
| 13 | The Love Theme | 1:34 | 1.5MB |
| 14 | Another Strange Brew (Film Dialogue) | 5:21 | 5.2MB |
| Track | Title | Length | Size |
| 1 | Welcome to Our Radio Show | 1:19 | 1.2MB |
| The Police - Spirits in the Material World | |||
| 2 | Today's Weather/News Report | 2:01 | 1.9MB |
| The Beatles - Hard Day's Night | |||
| 3 | A Word from Our Sponsor | 0:30 | 474KB |
| (Commercials) | |||
| 4 | Traffic Report | 2:16 | 2.1MB |
| Loverboy - The Kid is Hot Tonight | |||
| 5 | Loaded 'n' Rollin'/New Theme | 2:46 | 2.5MB |
| (Commercials) | |||
| 6 | Empties | 0:52 | 826KB |
| Supertramp - Take the Long Way Home | |||
| 7 | Stealin' Albums | 1:36 | 1.5MB |
| Rush - Spirit of Radio | |||
| 8 | Beer Bribe | 0:42 | 672KB |
| (Commercials) | |||
| 9 | Don't Belittle Yourself | 0:56 | 888KB |
| Alan Parsons Project - Wouldn't Wanna be Like You | |||
| 10 | Hockey Editorial | 2:28 | 2.3MB |
| The Doors - Set the Night on Fire | |||
| 11 | To Our Loyal Listeners | 1:42 | 1.6MB |
| Bob & Doug McKenzie - Take Off | 4:43 | 4.1MB | |
| 12 | Show's Over/New Theme II | 2:41 | 2.5MB |
Last updated: 17 March 2002
What kind of hoser am I? Click here to find out.